Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever you get your podcasts.
Conflict is hard. It’s uncomfortable, awkward, and for a lot of us, totally overwhelming. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Why didn’t I just say that?” or “Why did I say it like that?” I see you. I’ve been you.
In the latest episode of Five with Fry, I talk about something really personal: why I wrote my new book, I Said No: How to Have a Backbone and Boundaries Without Being a Jerk. It’s the book I needed years ago—back when I didn’t know how to set boundaries or speak up without either shutting down or blowing up.
Inheriting Conflict Patterns That Don’t Work
I didn’t grow up with a model for healthy conflict. My mom avoided it, and I picked up the same habits. That meant I entered adulthood without the tools I needed to navigate hard conversations.
So I did what a lot of us do. I stayed quiet until I couldn’t anymore, and then everything I had been holding in came out fast and loud. Those moments didn’t help anyone, especially not me. They didn’t solve problems or create understanding. They just left me feeling exhausted and misunderstood.
Why This Book Exists
I Said No came out of years of learning the hard way, and then doing the work to do better. It’s not just theory. It’s stories, tools, and reflection questions that help you understand your own conflict style and start shifting it.
I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you if conflict is hard. Most of us weren’t taught how to do it well. But we can learn. And when we do, it changes everything—how we show up in relationships, in the workplace, and with ourselves.
A New Way to Think About Conflict
What if conflict wasn’t something to avoid? What if it could actually bring more clarity, connection, and honesty into our lives?
That’s what this book helps you explore. It’s about learning how to stand your ground without losing your humanity. How to say what needs to be said without turning into someone you don’t want to be. It’s about setting boundaries without being a jerk.
Start the Work Today
If you’re someone who shuts down in conflict, or lashes out and regrets it later, this episode is for you. And this book was written with you in mind.
I Said No is available now for pre-order on Amazon and Barnes & Noble in both paperback and e-book formats. Official release date is August 1.
Listen to the episode wherever you get your podcasts and share it with someone who’s ready to stop avoiding conflict and start facing it with more clarity and care.
